Do I Not Destroy My Enemies When I Make Them My Friends?

Science, math, social studies, writing, and reading – you’d think that would be enough. But a few “Nobody likes me,” or “I don’t have any friends,” makes every teacher realize that those “real” subjects aren’t enough. Having friends is important to kids (and their parents). If teachers want their students to be compassionate and empathetic so they can develop good friendships, they have to find some way to help them develop those characteristics. Reading books with friendship themes can be used to help students identify ways they can be good friends. Making a list of these ideas could be helpful as it could be used to refer to throughout the school year.

Being Friends with the not-so-Friendly: A Visitor for Bear

Bonny Becker

Bear doesn’t want visitors…he even has a sign that says “No Visitors Allowed.” Obviously, Mouse doesn’t get it. He shows up in the fridge, in the teakettle, and in the bread drawer. Mouse begs to have “just a bit of cheese and a cup of tea…and a nice fire." Bear agrees but only if Mouse promises to leave after that. As expected, Mouse and Bear have a lovely time, but Mouse knows she must keep her promise. Bear finally convinces Mouse to stay by telling her that the “No Visitor Sign” was for salesmen not for friends.

Lesson: It seems like the friendship lesson might be that friends have fun together and enjoy being together. But maybe there’s a bigger lesson for kids. Some children (for many different kinds of reasons) find it difficult to have or be a friend. It’s important not to give up on those children. Putting in the extra effort might be the beginning of a great friendship and a real friend is what that child just might need.

Cheering on Your Friends: The Bear and the Piano

David Litchfield

This delightful story is about following your dreams while remembering what’s really important in life. A bear cub finds something in the forest that makes an awful sound. He is irresistibly drawn to the strange thing and continues playing it until the sounds it makes are beautiful. His talent on the piano leads him to the big city where he is surrounded by praise, applause and fame. But he misses his friends and longs to return to the forest. When he goes back, he can’t find his friends and is afraid that they’ve forgotten him. Finally, he returns to the piano, and realizes that they had not only remembered their good friend but had followed his path to fame and had kept mementos of his success.

Friendship Lesson: Friends want the best for each other. They cheer each other’s successes.

Unusual Friendships: Toot and Puddle

Holly Hobbs

Toot and Puddle are the best of friends, although they are very different. Toot loves to travel and decides to embark on an amazing year-long trip around the world. He goes to Egypt, the Soloman Islands, India, France and Italy and from each place he sends a postcard to his good friend, Puddle. Puddle is content to have his own adventures at home. Although they miss each other, they enjoy doing what they love to do. Finally, Toot returns home and they toast to being together again.

Friendship Lesson: Friends don’t have to like all the same things. They can have their own interests, but enjoy being together and being friends. It’s important that friends respect one another’s interests.

Trying to fit-in friends: The Name Jar

Yangsook Choi

Unhei, whose family just moved to the U.S. from Korea, is the new girl at school. She is afraid no one will like her name because it’s so different and so hard to say – so – she doesn’t tell anyone her real name. The kids in her class try to help her come up with an “American” name by putting suggestions in a jar on her desk. One day the jar mysteriously disappears from her desk. Unhei (with some support from her jar-stealing friend) decides that the best name for her is her own name.

Friendship Lesson: Friends accept that friends can be different whether it’s different customs, names, interests, or just the way they act. Embracing those differences is one way children can be good friends. This book is kind of like and international version of Chrysanthemum. ‘

It's not-always-easy friendship: Wonder

R.J. Palacio

August has been home-schooled. But now, at ten years old, he is ready to enter 5th grade in a public school. Starting a new school would be tough for any child, but it’s really challenging for August because he has an extremely disfigured face. This inspiring story allows its readers to see life through August’s eyes and the eyes of his classmates. Summer is Augie’s first good friend and is the kind of person most of us hope to aspire to. She’s kind and doesn’t worry about what the rest of the world thinks of her. Jack is more like most of us. He’s a good person, but sometimes messes up. And then there’s Julian, the kid who makes life as difficult as possible for Augie. Augie’s journey through fifth grade is a story of empathy, compassion and courage.

Lesson: This book is great for helping students discover that they can choose what kind of friend they would like to be. While reading this to my class, we stopped one day and discussed whether they would choose to sit with Augie during lunchtime. Lots of kids said they thought they would sit with him, but one of my kindest little girls just looked really sad. When I asked her what she was thinking, she said, “I know what I should do, I’m just not really sure what I would do.” We talked about how sometimes being able to do the right thing, starts with being honest about what we want to do. As the year went by, I noticed this girl and her friends going out of their way to be kind to a student in the class – a kid that was often left out not because he was Augie-different but just a-little-different.